


i'll take coffee and talk about nothing.

by frostfall



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Guilt, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Minor Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 23:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20750792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostfall/pseuds/frostfall
Summary: Every Friday evening, Steve meets with Tony for coffee.





	i'll take coffee and talk about nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> I was actually in the middle of writing another fic when the concept of this story popped in my head. This took me a day to write. I don't know how I did it but here it is. 
> 
> This fic takes place post-Endgame when everyone survives because I said so. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the story!
> 
> Title comes from 'Old Friend' by Mitski.

It starts with a phone call.

Tony is all casual and light when Steve picks up. It’s one in the morning and both of them should be asleep. But Steve can’t sleep so he paints his nightmares away and knowing Tony, he hasn’t tried sleeping.

If he could’ve, Steve would’ve chided him, urge him to get some rest. But since he lost that privilege a long time ago, he holds his tongue.

“Say, you busy next week? I was wondering if you’re interested in grabbing a drink with me. Coffee though. Not alcohol. I’ve stopped drinking.”

For some reason, Steve’s shoulders relax at the last part. Several theories come to mind – Steve’s history with his father, Howard. Maybe even the little footage he’s seen of Tony when he was young and brash. Young and brash Tony was much different from the man Steve knows now, even when they first met in Stuttgart all those years ago. He’s glad he never met him.

“Now?”

“Not now,” Tony answers as if Steve’s neck has sprouted two more heads. “Later. Tomorrow. Whenever.”

Steve makes a quick glance at his wall calendar. He has time.

* * *

Since the Avengers Facility is now ash and dust, Tony and T’Challa took the liberty to help the rest of the Avengers find new homes. At least until the facility is finally rebuilt. 

Steve’s current home is a small apartment in the heart of Brooklyn. It’s also a five minute walk from where Tony recommends they meet. 

It’s nothing special, an average coffee shop that sells overpriced coffee and blasts noise that should not be called music. But no one bats an eyelid at the sight of Iron Man and Captain America sharing a table with a caramel macchiato and latte between them so Steve doesn’t make a fuss about it.

Tony’s tense and on the defensive, thumbing his mug as he speaks. He’s loud and frantic, like he’s afraid that Steve wouldn’t be able to fill the gaps of silence. He’s right.

The whole exchange is painful and awkward and after much fumbling, they fall deathly silent. Steve hates the sigh of relief he exhales when Tony finally makes a weak excuse to leave.

That night, Steve rolls around his bed, wide awake and confused because _why was it so awkward_?

They’ve reconciled. Saved the world together. They were in-sync then. Why aren’t they in-sync now?

Was it the adrenaline? The need to survive and win? Has their chemistry been a fluke? Could they only get along when there’s a world-threatening crisis looming over their heads?

But since the ceiling bears no answers, he turns to his side and tries to fall asleep. 

* * *

Steve doesn’t see Tony until the week after.

If Steve didn’t know better, he’d assume that Tony’s avoiding him. But he’s busy with rebuilding and so is Steve and they end up in each other’s orbits eventually.

They’re at the ruins of the compound, trying to their best to rebuild when Steve turns to him and asks, “You have plans afterwards?”

Tony doesn’t look up from his StarkPad. “Just gonna go through the plans and then head back home for dinner. Why?”

“Um, I was wondering if you want to… You know, grab coffee with me. Before you head back.”

Tony’s fingers tighten around the tablet. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Coffee between us didn’t go really well last time.”

This is a sign that Steve should let it go. Maybe things are always going to be like this, especially 

“Doesn’t mean it’d go badly this time.”

Finally, Tony lifts his head up, regarding him with a wry look. “You really wanna waste your free evening slumming with me?”

Steve snorts. “If there’s anyone that’ll be slumming with anyone, it’s you.”

“I doubt hanging out with Captain America is considered ‘slumming’.”

Steve hates how right and wrong he is. But he couldn’t help the smile crossing his lips. “Answer the question, Stark.”

Tony smirks. “Lead the way, Rogers.”

* * *

They return to the same coffee shop. Steve still thinks that ten bucks for a cup of coffee is daylight robbery but he doesn’t tell Tony that. Instead, they end up talking about work. It happens.

Steve thinks it’s progress.

* * *

The next time they meet, it’s even better.

Tony recommends Steve the chocolate chip muffin and tells him about Peter Parker and his never-ending battle against his youth. Steve thinks the muffin is hard as a rock and laughs at Peter’s misadventures in Europe. He watches Tony’s hands move as he speaks and he smiles fondly whenever Peter’s name falls out of Tony’s lips. It’s been a while since Steve’s seen him this animated, this light.

They part with promises to meet again and Steve’s heart hasn’t felt lighter in years. 

* * *

“So, how was your date with Tony?” Natasha asks.

“What date?”

Natasha smirks. “Your date with Tony.”

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Sure,” she says before pinning him to the floor.

* * *

Once upon a time, Steve thought they could’ve had something.

There was a period when Tony wasn’t Pepper’s and Steve was lost and alone. There was a period when Steve would long for Tony’s laughter and snide remarks. There was a period when their fingers would brush and they’d hold each other’s gaze a second too long.

But then Lagos happened and everything went downhill from there.

* * *

“I’m thinking of passing the shield to Sam.”

Tony pauses his slurping. Today, his choice of beverage is an iced fig latte. It sounds gross. “Not Bucky?”

“No. Bucky has a lot on his plate right now.”

Tony nods as if Bucky hasn’t killed his parents decades ago, as if Steve hadn’t lied about Tony’s parents and Bucky all those years ago. He wonders if he still holds a grudge about it.

Hiding that knowledge from Tony would always be Steve’s biggest regret. He’ll always be haunted by what-ifs, if he just _told_ him instead of letting fate make the decision for him. It’s an appropriate curse for someone with his hubris.

“They’ll annoy each other to death.”

Steve laughs. “I’m counting on that.”

The grin Tony returns is bright and blinding and Steve aches.

* * *

One meeting turns to two which turns to three and before he knows it, he’s meeting Tony for coffee every Friday evening. Their meetings become the highlight of Steve’s week. It’s a welcoming change to his mundane routine.

Unsurprisingly, Tony’s wonderful company. Their meetings are a great reminder to better days when he’d sit in Tony’s old workshop, sketching out Dum-E as Tony and him trade barbs and laughs. 

Steve has always loved talking to him. Once they got past their animosity and distrust for one another, conversation flows between them like wine. Tony doesn’t treat him like the skinny rut he used to be or a relic or even Captain America. He calls him out on his bullshit and makes playful comments and listens and listens and listens.

God, he _listens_. If only Steve listened.

Looking back, Steve took their friendship for granted, selfishly thinking that he could keep both Bucky and Tony. And after the dust has finally settled and he finally sees, the pangs of longing poured in. He missed Tony and his company with a ferocity that he didn’t think he had in him. The fact that Tony even chose to forgive him boggles his mind.

So when Tony strolls in, warm brown eyes meeting his every Friday, Steve vows to not take Tony for granted ever again.

* * *

“Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry but I have to say this.” He pauses. “I know you recommended the place and—”

“Just spill it, Rogers.”

Steve sucks in a breath. “The coffee here sucks.”

Tony smirks, waving his fork around. “Everything here sucks, Rogers. Catch up, will you?”

“Then why did you choose to meet with me here?”

Tony rolls his eyes as he slips a piece of red velvet cake between his lips. “Because it’s the nearest coffee shop from your place?”

Steve frowns. “You do know I have a bike, right?”

“True.” Tony shrugs. “Oh well. It is what it is. Too late to change hangout spots.”

“Is it?”

“Nope,” Tony says. “But do you want to change it?”

There’s a part of Steve that does because the prices here are just ridiculous considering the mediocre food and drinks. But this place is theirs. He’d hate to lose it.

Besides he’s grown fond of those chocolate chip cookies of theirs. It’s the only thing they’ve done right.

* * *

For the third time in a row, Sam and Bucky invite Steve to the bar. And for the third time in a row, Steve turns them down.

“Sorry. I’m meeting with Tony for coffee later.”

Bucky pins him with a look of disbelief. “Again?”

Steve rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry. I just can’t do Friday evenings. That’s the time we meet up.”

Sam and Bucky exchange a knowing look. Steve sighs.

Maybe he should’ve stayed Captain America.

* * *

“I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t mean to say it as much as he does. They have a good thing going on right now. There’s no point in dragging up the past.

Tony arches his eyebrow. “I thought we’ve gone through this already.”

“I did.” Steve wrings his hands, shifting in his seat. He has one leg out, bracing himself to run. “But I never told you how sorry I am. About everything.”

Tony doesn’t speak for a long moment. “It was a long time ago. I’ve made my peace with it.”

“It was. I’m still sorry.”

Tony lifts his mug to his lips. “I’m not the one that you should be apologizing to.”

* * *

On Friday morning, Tony asks him to dinner.

“Morgan has heard a lot about you,” Tony tells him over the phone. “She’s itching to meet you. Plus, Pepper’s making her famous mac and cheese. You’ll love it.”

Steve doesn’t think it’s a good idea to insert himself into that part of Tony’s life. He’s already taken enough space in Tony’s life. But since he can’t say no to Tony anymore, he goes.

Morgan is as wonderful as Tony described her to be. There’s a lot of Tony in her, especially those eyes, _god_. But she throws her head back and laughs just like Pepper and Steve’s heart breaks a little.

She shows him a drawing of him and Tony and all of the other Avengers. It’s colourful and bright and Steve picks it up gingerly, afraid and touch. In return, Steve gifts her a graphite sketch of her and Tony. Morgan runs around the house shrieking as she clutches it between her fingers. She refuses to part with it throughout the rest of the evening.

Pepper, on the other end, is as lovely as Steve remembers. She rolls her eyes when Tony butters her up but she smiles when Tony plants a kiss on her cheek and Steve’s jaw clenches. He could feel Pepper’s eyes on him. It reminds him of the night of Tony’s homecoming and suddenly shame washes over him.

But since Pepper is Pepper, she doesn’t make a comment about it.

While dinner cooks, Tony drags him outside.

“It’s a surprise,” he says, his eyes glinting with mischief. “You’ll hate it.”

Steve does. A little. How could he be mad at those eyes?

“An alpaca? Really?”

Tony lets out a mock gasp before moving to cover the alpaca’s ears. “How _dare_ you? Don’t listen to him, Gerald. He’s a meanie.”

Steve snorts. Tony giggles.

_His eyes crinkle when he smiles_, Steve thinks, his mind spinning and his chest aching.

* * *

After that, it’s like the floodgates have opened again.

Tony has always been a captivating man. He’s handsome and brilliant and good. And like a moth to a flame, Steve was and always will be eager to burn for a mere taste.

In another life, they would’ve been something. He would’ve finally paid for Tony’s coffee, finally accept Tony’s offer to take him home, finally kiss him goodbye and invite him to dinner.

But the ship has sailed. In this life, Tony’s married and a father and happier than Steve has ever seen in forever so he leaves it at that.

* * *

After years of silence, Steve meets Sharon when he’s out with Tony.

She’s as witty and captivating as the last time they spoke. They trade numbers and promise to catch up soon.

“Take her out.”

Steve frowns, turning away from her retreating back. “What?”

Tony grins. There’s something off about it. Steve can’t figure out why. “I see the way she looks at you. And I know you guys had a thing going on. Take her out. Dinner or a movie. She seems like the type.”

“That was a long time ago.” A time when Steve was an arrogant and selfish idiot.

“Nothing like making up for lost time.”

Now Steve realizes what’s wrong. The smile Tony sends his way is blatantly fake, the kind he reserves for the press and the public. Steve doesn’t know what to make of that. 

* * *

He ends up doing what Tony asks because he’s weak and a fool. He calls Sharon up, cleans up nicely, and takes her to dinner.

She’s full of laughter and conversation throughout the meal, always ready with a counter to his words. For a fleeting moment, Steve indulges.

He could be happy. He could see himself marrying her, raising a couple of kids and living together in a house with a white picket fence for the rest of his life.

But when he walks her home, she turns to him with those sad, sad eyes and says, “I don’t think this is going to work out. I’m not who you want,” Steve feels like the biggest idiot in the universe.

She’s right. She is absolutely right. How could he ever fool himself into thinking that he could want anyone else but Tony?

* * *

“Well?”

Steve shrugs. “Didn’t work out.”

Tony looks genuinely upset at that. “I’m sorry.”

At least one of them is.

* * *

Sometimes when they meet, they don’t talk.

Tony would sip his coffee in silence, staring out the window or skimming through his StarkPad. Steve would sketch everything in sight – the college kids with their noses buried in their textbooks, potted plant that’s slowly dying at the back, the barista working the coffee machine, Tony’s eyes, Tony’s hands, Tony’s smile, Tony, Tony, Tony.

Months ago, the silence between them was been agonizing and uneasy but this is now and now, the silence is comfortable because Steve wants and needs but Tony isn’t his to have so the silence is all he can own.

* * *

“Pepper and I are getting a divorce.”

Steve almost knocks his coffee over because who the hell says something like so casually and out of the blue? “What? Why?”

He knows it’s the wrong thing to say, judging by Tony’s crumpled expression. Steve supposes he’ll never stop messing things up.

“Drifted apart, I guess. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry.” He means it.

Tony waves his hand dismissively. “It’s fine. It happens. We’ve broken up and made up so many times that I’ve lost count. God, I’ve lost count.”

“If that’s the case,” Steve says quietly, fiddling with his pencil, “you guys would be back together in no time.”

Tony shakes his head. “Not this time.”

For the millionth time since he’s met Tony, Steve’s at a loss for words.

* * *

All of his friends react to Steve's terrible pining in various ways. 

Bucky calls him a punk and tells him to get off his ass. Natasha shoots him exasperated looks and threatens to call Tony herself. Sharon rolls her eyes and offers to lock them both in a closet. Sam just pats him on the back and tells him to come by if he needs someone to pour his heart out to.

But in the end, it's Bruce’s words that has him reeling.

They’re at the Avengers Facility when he says them. It’s almost restored to its former glory, maybe even better. Steve’s itching to get his hands dirty. He may not be Captain America anymore, but that hasn’t stopped him from offering to train the rest of the Avengers.

“Remember what you told me about Nat and I?” Bruce asks when Tony steps out of the meeting room, ringing phone in hand.

Steve shakes his head. He has an idea on where the conversation is going though.

“You told me that you’re the world’s leading authority on waiting too long, that I shouldn’t wait as long as you did.” Bruce claps him on the back and Steve almost flinches. He may have the serum running through his veins but Bruce and the Hulk are one now. “You do know that that advice isn’t just for me, right?”

* * *

Steve watches Tony laugh from across the table and wonders if he’s too late. They’ve lost so much between them. No matter how much they’ve regained ever since Tony returned to the compound with a solution to time travel, it wouldn’t erase the rest of their past.

But maybe, just maybe, their past has always meant to burn.

* * *

“Bruce’s right, you know.”

“I know.” Steve stares down at his hands, the ones that have hurt, the same ones that clutched a shield and drove it into Tony’s heart. “I just… I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“You love him?”

“I do,” Steve replies. “That’s the problem. I loved him before and I destroyed us. Things are great between us right now. What if I mess things up again?”

“That was then. This is now,” Bucky says gently. “You know you messed up. You’re not the same man as you were before.” He huffs. “Besides, he’s gone for you. So gone for you.”

Steve scoffs. “Uh, sure.”

Bucky shakes his head in disbelief. “Tasha was right. You really are blind.”

Steve throws a pillow at his face in retaliation.

* * *

In the end, Tony beats him to it.

They’ve finished their coffee when Steve invites Tony over to his place.

“We could binge watch _Star Trek_ together,” he says hopefully and Tony grins back.

Since Tony took an Uber over, they head to Steve’s on foot. That’s when it begins to rain.

Steve’s about to recommend they run the whole way back when Tony suddenly seizes Steve by the collar and presses their lips together.

It’s hot and demanding and unexpected. Tony kisses like he’s trying to prove a point. So Steve kisses him back, pouring his soul into it.

He doesn’t know how long they stand kissing on the sidewalk in the rain in the middle of Brooklyn. It doesn’t matter though because Tony’s kissing him and everything feels right and like a moth to a flame, Steve _burns_.

“Tony,” Steve rasps when they break apart, “I—”

“Shut up,” Tony interrupts, scowling at him. Steve almost chuckles at the sight. He looks like a soaked Chihuahua. “You don’t get to run away. Not again.”

“I—”

“I’ve wanted you for a really long time. And I know you do too. So stop running away and making up dumb reasons why this shouldn’t work between each other.”

Steve wonders if he has always been this transparent. Then again, it could’ve been Natasha filling Tony’s head with stories.

“What about Pepper?”

Tony softens, his brown eyes twinkling. “I love her. I really do.” He steps closer, caressing Steve’s cheek. He leans into the touch. It’s warm. “But it’s you I want. It’s always been you.”

Steve thinks of Peggy with fire like the sun and Sharon with her quiet determination. Neither of them had made his heart sing the way Tony has, is doing at the moment. Tony's both fire and ice, loud and quiet and Steve wants it all. 

“It’s always been you too,” Steve murmurs.

Tony barks out a laugh, running his fingers through his hair. It takes all of his willpower to not jump him right there and then. 

“Thank god. Otherwise, this would’ve been awkward.”

A thought crosses Steve’s mind and he blurts it out before he could stop himself.

“You want me? Even after everything?”

“Even after,” Tony affirms. He presses forward but doesn’t let their lips touch. “I’ve forgiven you, Steve. And it’s time you’ve forgiven yourself too.”

Steve swallows. “You really believe that?”

Tony smiles. “I do.”

They kiss again and it’s soft and sweet and perfect. Maybe forgiveness has always been this simple.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on [Tumblr](https://nethandrake.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/kapteniron)


End file.
